


If We Were A (Disney Channel Original) Movie

by Jason_Grayson



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M, a liiittle cracky, but also great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 05:23:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12698229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jason_Grayson/pseuds/Jason_Grayson
Summary: Sentence prompt: This is nothing like High School Musical





	If We Were A (Disney Channel Original) Movie

Four goons stood in a loose circle, money and drugs exchanging hands. “So, the plan is to distribute to the high schools in the area?” one of them asked.

“Yeah, we'll give those high schoolers something to sing about,” another replied.

“No, no! That just won’t do.” They all looked up into the rafters, pulling out their guns, and taking aim as the unfamiliar voice rang out.

Sitting relaxed in the rafters was none other than the Red Hood and Nightwing. They both jumped down to stand in front of the drug dealers. 

“That is nothing like High School Musical. Not even close! Unless my memory of it is seriously messed up,” Nightwing said, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

Before any of the goons could even respond, Nightwing and Red Hood launched into action. Within what seemed like seconds, but was probably more like a few minutes, guns were knocked out of hands, and the goons were groaning on the floor in pain.

“So serious question that’s been bothering me. Was high school ever like High School Musical?” Red Hood asked, working on tying up one of the goons before looking up at Nightwing. 

Shoulders drooping, Nightwing shook his head, and sadly responded, “No. I felt so lied to! So… betrayed.” His tone of voice seemed sad, but there was a barely concealed smirk playing on his face as he finished securing another goon.

“How the hell did you two even get past security!?” One of the goons grit out in pain as he struggled to sit up, hands tied behind his back.

Red Hood unclasped his helmet so the goons could get the full effect of his bewildered face. “That was your security? Those five highly incompetent guys? Wow, that’s just fucking pathetic.”

Nightwing nodded his agreement as the last two were tied up as well. “Really sad. We could give you some pointers, if you’d like?”

“We’re not supposed to be helping the bad guys, ‘Wing.” 

“I know that! But come on, Hood. This is just too sad.” 

Another goon apparently took that personally as he let out an indignant yell of, “We are not pathetic, or sad!” 

Smirking, Red Hood raised an eyebrow. “Do you not see how all of you are tied up? And seriously, I think we got all of this handled in like 10 minutes. That’s the definition of sad, and pathetic.”

“Fuck off!” The same goon spit out, as he glared up at the two heroes. The effect was dampened by his shout of pain as he attempted to sit up.

Nightwing let out a mock gasp. “How do you know about our nightly activities!?” He turned to Red Hood. “Did you tell people about us?” Hands on his hips, he gave Red Hood a playful glare.

Red Hood returned it. “Of course not! This guy must just be a regular Sherlock Holmes,” he said sarcastically as he sent that particular goon a pointed look. 

The guy actually didn’t seem to detect the sarcasm, since his glare changed to  _ smug  _ for a minute. “I have been told I can be pretty intelligent.”

Red Hood, and Nightwing both stared at him for a beat, before turning to look at each other, and bursting into laughter.

“This guy is a fucking idiot!” Red Hood barked out, doubling over in his laughter. 

Nightwing was the first to recover as he straightened up from his laughter, but his grin was still present as he looked at Red Hood. “Now, now, Hood. It’s not nice to laugh at this guy, even if he isn’t necessarily the… sharpest tool in the toolbox.” 

Once again, the goon quickly shifted back to indignant. “Can you two just kindly fuck off, and die!?” His lip curled up into a snarl.

“Eh, I'm over death. Been there, done that, y’know?” Red Hood shrugged casually. “But we will be out of your hair soon, big guy. Just waiting for the appropriate authorities to take your sorry asses away.”

The fourth goon, who had been quiet during this whole exchange, stared up in confusion. “So, you and Nightwing are like…  a thing?”

Nightwing had responded with, “ _ That’s  _ what you took out of this conversation?” at the same time Red Hood responded with, “That wasn’t obvious?” 

Just as one of the other goons kicked at that fourth goon, and sent him a glare, because -  _ seriously, this guy is an idiot, how the hell did he get hired!? -  _ sirens off in the distance began to be heard, with blue and red lights flashing around the warehouse.

“Well, this has been fun, but that is our cue to leave.” Red Hood sent them one final smirk before putting back on his helmet. “Night’s still young, and I have things to do, people to screw.” He looked over at Nightwing as he said the last part, who just returned the look with an unimpressed stare.

“Sometimes I seriously wonder how, and why I love you,” Nightwing said, shaking his head with a fond look on his face

“My charm? Devastating good looks? Stunning personality?” Even though his face was covered, Nightwing just  _ knew  _ the look on his face,  _ knew  _ he was waggling his eyebrows.

Rolling his eyes, Nightwing grabbed out his grappling hook, and swung back up to the rafters.

“‘Wing? Come on! You can’t just leave me hanging like that!” Red Hood huffed out a breath, before playfully saying, “Men, am I right?” He grabbed out his own grappling hook, following after Nightwing.

The goons all looked at each, wondering how they got in this position when the rest of the night seemed to be going so well. It was silent, all deep in thought, before finally-

“Seriously though, Nightwing and Red Hood are together?”

“Shut up, Mark.”


End file.
